(Lame css probably because I just need somewhere to vent while I am at work.) might delete and move it to another page

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6.
Reading "Notes from Underground" by Fiodor Dostoievski, 1995.

and
"On Desobedience", Erich Fromm, 1981.

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5.
The world of dreams is insanely interesting. On Neocities and others platforms dream diaries* are digging in the unconscious mind of humans. The project of keeping it updated as a precious proof of our experiences in the world of dreams has the very personal power to submerge the author of the writings in its unconscious universe. The fact that a dream diary is very personal is because you can not perceive the feeling of a dream when reading the retranscript of someone else. The feeling of a dream is what makes the experience important, it's about your psyche and physiology.

*projects such as .flow or yume nikki have been developed on the web.
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4.
Getting up at 4am, time is confusing. Maybe it is insomnia or maybe a sign from the universe. I am using that time to study. Loneliness doesn't hit me like before, I filled the emptiness with knowledge. I don't have time to feel lonely or to noticed everybody gave up on me. I am working on my very final writing : the last letter about the succeed of my suicide. Notes in my desk, on my wall, on my arms. This is what maintain me to stay.
Of course, I am very not courageous.
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3.
My interests are wide :

- scanning archived works
- unpopular films / arts
- writing and sociology 
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2.
When I started to type, words flow in a language that wasn't close to how I usually express myself. I was more free, unlimited (even if I believe the humans are very limited) but more aware of the tone and faculty to choose terms to precisely tell something. Words often are missing, and also timing. Writing has the capacity of self-reflective power that last longer than speeches. Being able to come back on your marks. To change the ways, the past in the present.
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1.
Since I can remember, I've always been a grey looking person. My voice tone is kind of boring. The music I listen, my interests, the colour tones of filmography I enjoy. All of that is grey. I am a very loser kind of person. Black hair, looking at the ground in the street, often find metallic trinkets.
Discovering unpopular references feed my head and fulfill my thoughts. It makes me feel alive, singular, somehow lost in something no one can understand. No one can get me. I became kind of asocial at uni. It has not always been like this, but this role suits me best.
Being discret, quiet, distant. It started to hit me differently and harder in my every day life, this thought of being - somewhere else. I was very conscious about that. When I started to work I adapt myself. When I am in private, my attitude is different. I am severe, rough, strict and also very unstable because of the rules and amounts of plannings I am building and not able to respect. I struggle to follow the pace I am imposing to myself.